In a few weeks, I am going to be speaking at a luncheon for some ladies and this will be my 3rd time speaking with them. When I first received the invite, it was late on a Saturday night and I was snuggled in my bed, David sleeping beside me with my Ipad on searching for whatever would help settle my mind so I could join David in sleep.  When I read the e-mail my first thought was  "What in the world could I have left in me to share?"

You see, I only know my story of what Jesus did for me.  So I picked up His word and I began to read.  The Bible is such an intimate story and it never fails to touch me in places that I didn't know existed.  One moment it exposes my flaws while simultaneously applying a soothing balm to quiet my grieving, angry spirit. 

I see myself in the faces of the crowd as they praised Jesus with palm branches.  That's me standing beside the woman with the issue of blood, although my issues were of a completely different nature.  I was also in the crowd screaming "Crucify" because I could not bear the thought of the "nature" of  my issues becoming public knowledge.  I find myself as both the wayward son described in Luke as well as Onesimus, the slave whom Paul so valiantly defended. 

I see myself and that bothers me. 

So I don't know yet, what I am going to share, but I know this for sure.  It will be my story, perhaps wrapped in a different way, but still the story of how Jesus Christ met me in the midst of my denying him and loved me.

Once upon a time ........... and for all time ..........that's my story!

I have huge dreams of where I want my life to go.  The problem is there are times (many times) when I jump without even once approaching God and consulting with Him on whether or not this is where He wanted me to go.  I jump in and then I ask Jesus to bless my mess!  Am I the only one guilty of this blunder?

Jeremiah 29:11 is so familiar to us.  "For I know the plans, I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to proper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."  I love this verse, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside when I read it and claim it.  I often quote it to myself when I am not having a good day.  But, the promise doesn't stop at verse 11 it goes on to verses 12 - 14 by requiring us to buy into the process.  "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found be you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back from which I carried you into exile."

So I am seeking Him.  I need to know that the steps I take in my spiritual life between now and the end of my journey are the correct ones -- before once again placing my foot on the wrong path.  I know God called me into a speaking ministry years ago, but people have not broken down my door begging me to come to their church and speak.  I also know that God has called me as a Financial Counselor and that is starting to grow. I reach the most people when I combine the two although sometimes that is painful to me personally.  :)

So I'm praying.  Now that I am retired, I don't know exactly where God is going to leading me, but I know this, I'm not going without Him!  I'm going to seek Him with all my heart and He promises me He will find me.  That is enough for me today.  I so wish I had it all figured out, but I know God will show me each piece of the puzzle when He is ready..  Until then I'm standing at the last place I knew He called me too. So while it may look like I am standing still, I'm not.  I am preparing for that day and dreaming dreams of becoming who God has called me to be.